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I am Asgard’s doom

I am Asgard’s doom

Thor: Let me get this straight. You’re going to put your crown into the Eternal Flame, and you suddenly grow big as a house?
Surtur: A MOUNTAIN!
Thor: The Eternal Flame that Odin keeps locked away in Asgard?
Surtur: Odin is not on Asgard. And your absence has left the throne defenseless.
Thor: Okay. So, where is this crown?
Surtur: [points at the crown] This is my crown. The source of my power!
Thor: Oh, that’s your crown? I thought it was a big eyebrow.
Surtur: It’s a crown!
Thor: Anyway, it sounds like all I have to do to stop Ragnarok is rip that thing off your head.
Surtur: But Ragnarok has already begun! You cannot stop it! I am Asgard’s doom, and so are you! All will suffer, all will burn!
Thor: Oh, that’s intense. You know to be honest, seeing you grow really big and set fire to a planet would be quite the spectacle. But it looks like I’ll have to choose Option B, where I bust out of these chains, knock that tiara off your head, and stash you away in Asgard’s vault. Continue reading

Hey, let’s do Get Help

Hey, let’s do Get Help

Thor: Hey, let’s do ‘Get Help’.
Loki: What?
Thor: ‘Get Help’.
Loki: No.
Thor: Come on. You love it.
Loki: I hate it.
Thor: It’s great. It works every time.
Loki: It’s humiliating.
Thor: Do you have a better plan?
Loki: No.
Thor: We’re doing it.
Loki: We are not doing ‘Get Help’.
[Thor carries Loki out of the elevator in front of the guards]
Thor: Get help! Please! My brother is dying! Get help! Help him!
[as the guard approach them, Thor throws Loki at them, knocking them down]
Thor: A classic.
Loki: [gets up] I still hate it. It’s humiliating.
Thor: Not for me, it’s not.

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Damn you, Stark. Point Break.

Damn you, Stark. Point Break.

[Thor turns on the Quinjet’s computer and places his hand on the handprint scanner]
Quinjet Computer: Welcome. Voice activation required.
Thor: Thor.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Thor, God of Thunder.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Son of Odin.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest Avenger.
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
Thor: Strongest Avenger!
Quinjet Computer: Access denied.
[pause]
Thor: Damn you, Stark. Point Break.
Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Point Break.

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