Drax: [Looking at Batteries] What are they called again?
Peter Quill: Anulax batteries.
Drax: Harbulary batteries.
Peter Quill: That’s nothing like what I just said. Continue reading
Nebula: [being tied up] I’m hungry. Hand me some of that yaro root.
Gamora: No. It’s not ripe yet… and I hate you. Continue reading
Yondu: What is it Kraglin?
Kraglin: Hey, remember that Ayesha chick?
Yondu: Yeah, why?
[Yondu sees a fleet of Sovereign ships appear]
Yondu: Oh, hell! Continue reading
You don’t have to believe in yourself, because I believe in you.
– Drax Continue reading
Mantis: If I touch someone, I can feel their feelings.
Peter Quill: You read minds?
Mantis: No. Telepaths know thoughts, Empaths feel feelings, Emotions.
Mantis: [to Peter] May I?
Peter Quill: All right.
Mantis: [Mantis touches Peter’s hand] You feel… love.
Peter Quill: Yeah. I guess, yeah, I feel a general, unselfish love for just about everybody…
Mantis: No! Romantic, sexual love.
Peter Quill: No. No, I don’t.
Mantis: [points to Gamora] For her!
Peter Quill: No, no. No, I don’t.
Mantis: [points to Gamora] For her.
Peter Quill: No! That is not…
[Drax starts laughing hysterically]
Peter Quill: Okay… That’s…
Drax: [still laughing] She just told everyone your deepest, darkest secret!
Peter Quill: Dude, come on, I think you’re overreacting a little bit.
Drax: [still laughing] You must be so embarrassed!
Drax: [to Mantis] Do me! Do me! Do me!
[Mantis touches Drax and she starts laughing hysterically]
Mantis: I’ve never felt such humor!
Peter Quill: So unbelievably uncool.
Drax: Oh, Quill…
[Mantis walks over to Gamora to touch her]
Gamora: Touch me, and the *only* thing you’re gonna feel is a broken jaw. Continue reading
Yondu: You can go to hell, then! I don’t give a damn what you think of me!
Stakar Ogord: So what are you following us for?
Yondu: Because you’re gonna listen to what I gotta say!
Stakar Ogord: I don’t gotta listen to nothing! You betrayed the code! Ravagers don’t deal in kids.
Yondu: I told you before! I didn’t know what was going on!
Stakar Ogord: You didn’t know because you didn’t want to know because it made you rich. Continue reading
Drax: How did you get to this weird dumb planet?
Mantis: Ego found me in my larva state. Orphaned on my home world. He raised me by hand, and kept me as his own.
Drax: So you’re a pet.
Mantis: I suppose.
Drax: People usually want cute pets. Why would Ego want such a hideous one?
Mantis: I am hideous?
Drax: You are horrifying to look at. Yes. Bu-But that’s a good thing.
Drax: When you’re ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are… Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Mantis: Well, then I’m certainly grateful to be ugly. Continue reading
Nebula: [sneering] Look at you, a Garden of the Galaxy!
Gamora: It’s Guardian! Why would I be a Garden of the Galaxy?
[Drax laughs] Continue reading
Ego: I created what I imagined biological life to be like… down to the most minute detail.
Drax: Did you make a penis?
Peter Quill: Dude!
Gamora: What is wrong with you?
Drax: If he’s a planet, how could he make a baby with your mother? He would smush her!
Peter Quill: I don’t need to hear how my parents…
Drax: Why? My father would tell the story of impregnating my mother every winter solstice.
Peter Quill: That’s disgusting.
Drax: It was beautiful. You earthers have hang-ups.
Ego: Yes, Drax, I got a penis.
Drax: Ha! Thank you!
Ego: It’s not half bad. Continue reading
Baby Groot: I am Groot.
Yondu: What’s that?
Rocket: He says, “Welcome to the freaking Guardians of the Galaxy.” Only he didn’t use “freaking.”
[Yondu is floating in the air, hanging on his arrow]
Peter Quill: You look like Mary Poppins.
Yondu: Is he cool?
Peter Quill: Hell yeah, he’s cool.
Yondu: I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!. Continue reading
You shouldn’t have killed my mom, and squished my Walkman.