Connor Mead: I promise you this: When you wake up in the morning, I’ll be there. Every time.
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)
Uncle Wayne: If there’s one thing that you learn tonight, it’s this: The power of a relationship lies with whoever cares less.
Young Connor: I’m gonna keep it forever.
Connor Mead: I’ve enjoyed the company of all the other bridesmaids except you. I mean, you must feel terribly left out. Unknown: I do. Connor Mead: Well, I do hope that there’s some way to rectify this injustice. Unknown: Well, you know what I always say is “To think globally, act locally”.
Connor Mead: Uncle Wayne? You’re dead. Uncle Wayne: Players never die, Dutch. They just try their luck at a different table. Whoa, Whoa. Never touch a man when he’s hanging a wire.
Connor Mead: Believe me, all right? For Paul’s sake, I wish I could believe in all this crap, I do. And I also wish I could believe in the Easter bunny, the missile shield, and strippers with a heart of gold, all right? But, unfortunately, I am condemned to see the world as it really(…)
Connor Mead: Love? It’s magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end, love leaves you weak, dependant and fat.
Connor Mead: Paulie, you know where I come out on all this, buddy. To me, marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution that should a been abolished years ago.
Unknown: Sandy, what about him? Sandra: Dan Palumbo, Married. Unknown: Oh, Kids? What? They’re not really married unless they have kids.
Paul: These are my groomsmen. Guys, this is my brother Connor. Groomsman #1: We’ve heard the stories, man. Connor Mead: Oh, ok. Groomsman #2: An *honor* to be serving with you. Connor Mead: And with you. Groomsman #3: It’s mice to neat you. Damn it! I blew it.
Sandra: Jenny, soothe the nervous bride. Jenny Perotti: Oh, it’s fine.
Sergeant Volcom: This will have gone like clockwork, so at 1529 I will say: “You may kiss the bride”.