Deadpool: Superhero landing, She’s gonna do a superhero landing. Wait for it. [Angel Dust jumps from the platform and lands] Deadpool: [clapping his hands] Whoo! Superhero landing! You know, that’s really hard on your knees.
Deadpool: [he forgot his guns] Goddammit! I’m gonna do this the old fashioned way, with two swords and maximum effort.
Dopinder: I presume a crisp high five? Deadpool: For you? 10. [slaps Dopinder a double high-five] Deadpool: [to Colossus and Negasonic] Okay, guys, let’s get out there and make a difference. Deadpool: [Whispers to Dopinder] You know what do to. Dopinder: Knock ’em dead, Pool Boy!
Blind Al: I get why you’re so pissy, but your mood’s never gonna brighten ’till you find this woman and tell her how you feel. Deadpool: What do I keep telling you, Mrs. Magoo? She wouldn’t have me. If you could see me, you’d understand. Blind Al: Looks aren’t everything. Deadpool: Looks ARE everything! Ever(…)
Deadpool: Dead or alive, you’re coming with me!
Deadpool: Zip it, Sinead!
Colossus: We can’t allow this, Deadpool. Please, come quietly. Deadpool: You big chrome cock-gobbler! Colossus: That’s not nice. Deadpool: You’re really gonna fuck this up for me? Trust me, that wheezing bag of dick-tips has it coming. He’s pure evil. Besides… Nobody’s getting hurt. [a dead body falls off an overhead traffic sign] Deadpool: That(…)
Wade Wilson: Listen, we both know that cancer is a shit-show. Like a Yakov Smirnoff opening for the Spin Doctors at the Iowa State Fair shit-show. And under no circumstances will I take you to that show. I want you to remember me, not the ghost of Christmas me. Vanessa Carlysle: Well, I wanna remember(…)
Deadpool: I think we can all agree that shit just went sideways in the most colossal way.
Ajax: Wade fucking wilson.
Deadpool: Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re witnessing is Sweet dick-kicking revenge.