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Dain Lord of the Ironhills

Dain Lord of the Ironhills

Bilbo Baggins: Who is that? He doesn’t look too happy.
Gandalf: It is Dain, Lord of the Ironhills. Thorin’s cousin.
Bilbo Baggins: [jogging to catch up to Gandalf] Are they alike?
Gandalf: [pauses] I always found Thorin the more reasonable of the two. Continue reading

The world is not in your books and maps

The world is not in your books and maps

Gandalf: The world is not in your books and maps. It’s out there.
Bilbo Baggins: I can’t just go running off into the blue! I am a Baggins of Bag End!
Gandalf: You are also a Took. Did you know that your Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could ride a real horse?
Bilbo Baggins: Yes.
Gandalf: Well he could! In the Battle of Greenfields, he charged the Goblin ranks. He swung his club so hard it knocked the Goblin King’s head cleaned off and it sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole. And thus the battle was won and the game of golf invented at the same time.
Bilbo Baggins: I do believe you made that up.
Gandalf: Well, all good stories deserve embellishment. You’ll have a tale or two to tell of your own when you come back.
Bilbo Baggins: …Can you promise that I will come back?
Gandalf: No. And if you do… you will not be the same. Continue reading

if Baggins loses, then we eats it whole

if Baggins loses, then we eats it whole

Bilbo Baggins: Why don’t we have a game of riddles… Just, just you and me.
Gollum: [comes towards Bilbo; as Friendly Gollum] Just… Just us?
Bilbo Baggins: Yes… Yes! And if I win, you…
[gestures]
Bilbo Baggins: …You show me the way out, yes?
Gollum: [nods] Yes, Yes…
[Gollum’s pupils narrow as he becomes Treacherous Gollum. He growls as he back into the shadows; Bilbo looks uneasy]
Gollum: [sinister whisper] And if it loses… what then?
[Gollum blinks; as Friendly Gollum]
Gollum: Well… if it loses, Precious. then we EATS it!
[Gollum giggles sinisterly; then he turns to Bilbo]
Gollum: [casually] And if Baggins loses, then we eats it whole.
[Gollum smiles and shrugs]
Bilbo Baggins: [after a long pause] Fair enough. Continue reading

The Heart of the Mountain

The Heart of the Mountain

Thrór ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson.
Ah, Frodo, Erebor! Built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of this fortress city was legend. Its wealth lay in the earth in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Dwarves was unequalled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of diamond, emerald, ruby, and sapphire.
Ever they delved deep, down into the dark and that is where they found it, the Heart of the Mountain… the Arkenstone.
Thrór named it the King’s Jewel, he took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him, even the great Elven King Thranduil.
But the years of peace and plenty was not to last.
Slowly the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in.
Thrór’s love of gold grown too fierce and sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow…

– Bilbo Baggins Continue reading